Please Let me hit her
by Aura of Darkness Night
Summary: Sarcasic Elven mage Rheni decides to take the Chantery for a sarcasm-filled ride with Josie Langes character 'Lhiannon Amell' A fun little one-shot that's not ment to be taken seriously in any way possible. Rated for my poor/bad launguage. Enjoy the show!


Please... Let me hit her.

Rheni let out a loud sigh at the audience that the Arl and Arlessa had managed to yet again achieve. Lhi and Loghain were sat in the two chairs at the head of the hall in the keep while Rheni and Anders flanked the right. Jowan flanking the left, all of them mages. It was ment to be offensive to the chantery that decided to show up and try to yet again play the bullshit card. Rheni was already lining up the sarcastic comebacks getting them ready to launch and that maker-forsaken chantery bashing mother. She took a breath to begin speaking. Rheni looked to Lhi, whos eyes were already slit, Rheni could tell she was getting sick of the orders to step down that came every other week. Makers flaming arse even a man like Loghain, completely normal in no ways magical at her side they were still not happy.

God they needed to go get drunk or something.  
>"You know why I'm here Arlessa" the mother spoke with that post voice as though she were too highly though of to be here. Pfft, all she was to Rheni and most of the people in the room was an ugly cow.<br>"Yes so do carry on so I can tell you to get out quicker" Lhi replied dryly  
>"The chantry has not and will not agree to this outrageous marriage between yourself and the Hero of Riverdane, it is unholy and against our teachings!" she said although shot through the heart with an arrow. Maker willing somebody actually does shoot her soon<br>"Build a bridge and get over it" Rheni muttered dryly  
>"Have something to say Mage?" a Templar at the side of the room spat. Rheni turned to him and gave him a dark look before taking a few steps toward him "Actually... Yeah I do... YOU METEL HEADED BAFOON!" she launched at him before turning to the mother<br>"Leave it Rheni" Lhi said softly but Rheni ignored, not because she disrespected Lhi she had the greatest respects for the woman, oh no but for the reason that she was going to verbally wipe the floor with the bitch  
>"What I said... Dear mother was that you need to <em>build a bridge... And get the FUCK over it!<em>" she said as loudly as possible without shouting, the mother looked outraged and stunned.  
>Lhi looked as though she were having trouble deciding on what to do. Loghain looked borderline amused, Jowan was still twitchy and on edge while darling Anders looked as though he were about to burst into a fit of laugher<p>

"I gotta use that one" he chuckled trying to hold back his uproar

"Silence yourself apostate!" The mother finally managed to muster up a reply "You should be returned to the circle! You are not even under the protection of the Wardens nor the Crown!" Rheni smirked as the older woman started to go red and get herself in a puff; Rheni then turned and gave Lhi puppy eyes like a baby

"Please... Let me hit her." Rheni said with the voice of a cute little five-year-old yet was still able to have the dry sarcasm wrapping in between, Lhi moved her hand in front of her face to try and hide the smirk

"No Rhe" She said simply, trying to stifle her chuckles

"Oh! Come on... Anders would let me hit her!" Rheni whined

"SILENCE MAGE!" A templar roared before taking a few steps forward, Rheni turned at looked at him like she were possessed

"Touch me and I'll send you **flying **at that wall" she said with dark seriousness

"Nobody's being sent flying into my wall" Lhi warned

"I'll send him through the door on their way out instead" Rheni replied sarcastically, the mother gave a disgusted snort before turning and heading for the door

"We shall be back! The maker demands your resignation and his servants will get it for him!" She yelled as she left the hall in a hot embarrassment. Rheni was giving the templar – whose name she didn't bother to find out – dark looks as he made his way out of the keep with the fellow templar's.

As soon as the door slammed shut you could hear Anders burst into a fit of giggles and Lhi start chuckling. Maker even Loghain let out a short deep chuckle

"Lhi you gotta let her do that more" Anders managed to say between his giggles

"You're both going to be the death of me" Lhi said with a smirk

"I'm with Anders you got to let me do that again!" Rheni said enthusiastically. 

*AUTHERS NOTES*

Well, hope everybody enjoyed that I know Josie did VIA PM when I was telling her about it. Anyway our darling Lhi belongs to Josie who can be found here: .net/u/2507601/ and the storyline this is based off is found here: .net/s/6781858/1/Retribution

Anyway this was done in around an hour so mistakes are all mine and it was just for some fun so anybody going off on one saying that it's not accurate or whatever because I really don't care I'm just going to ignore you.


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